The Thorn Retort

Discussion in 'PORTLAND AREA Dart Association (PADA)' started by CraigB, Feb 11, 2007.

  1. CraigB

    CraigB Best looking Craig B in the forum! $:-{P> Staff Member Site Admin

    Got something to say back to Adam about his Thorn Reports? This is the place to do it!
  2. philk

    philk New Member

    Okay! My first retort!

    First of all, great job on the Thorn report. One would almost think a wayward Thorn was still in PDX... 8)

    I was just wondering if there was any kind of armor, or flak jacket I could use while playing singles in my division against the likes of Roger Christal, Bill Dennis, Andy Campbell, Chris Ricci, Papa Murrain, Cousin Dupree and all the rest of those seriously nasty warriors? So far my best idea is to just get sick before a match, and force a postponement. :lol: I know! Practice. <sigh>

    Keep up the great reporting. I'll try to submit some tidbits of how our matches went, and maybe even some color commentary besides the usual statistical reporting. I was wondering if we could post photos here, and if so, do we have to link to a photo hosting service or what? I want the pics to show up in the posts...

    Anyway, looking forward to the next report, and working on the next retort. -phil
  3. Thorn

    Thorn New Member

    Thanks PK! Great retort. I must admit, after looking at last weeks scores, I was hoping you had some kevlar undies too...wonder woman's bracelets...the matrix power...a bike helmet...something! That's one powerful division this season. I'm especially impressed with the three new teams, who somehow all graduated up from only two A divisions...which means the league director's stat formula is more accurate than championship plaques. I know most of the guys on all the teams--always a fun challenge to play with or against any of them.

    Do me a favor will ya? Remind...SOUPR's Campbell and Dennis about the night I took some of their quarters at the Lair; Ricci about going 15 rounds to a draw at the TripleNickel, Boughton about watching me barely lose to Bob Anderson, Cree about the numerous times I threw before he finished chalking, Weiss about the night I tye-dyed him at the Brass, Griffiths about my 83out to knock him from the ADO qualifier--oh and, yes, when he and I took the Xmas shoot the year before you and I did, Bauer about the time we competed to see who was worse, all the Murrains about underestimating the opponent, Lunday about not needing a poker face in darts, and lastly...tell Christal he never had the guts to play the Thorn...guts or time, one of the least his wonderful wife had the courage to visit Slabtown. There, that should get some responses...

    Seriously though, miss all the action--thank goodness for online stat sites.

    As for pictures...I loved posting photos on the old PADA site, and I've missed being able to do it here. But I know its possible. Your curiosity inspired me to figure it out. And, here's how...

    1. Resize the picture for 600 width or less, and save it to your desktop.
    1. Go to, create an account, and upload your picture.
    2. Copy the URL for the picture and paste it into your post.
    3. Highlight your pasted URL code, scroll up and click the "Img" button...this should surround your URL with: [​IMG]
    4. For more info on avatars, emoticons, and images go to Site Info Forum
    5. If you can't figure it out, contact me.

    This is Eduardo. He lives in the eastern edges of the Andes in Potrerillos, Argentina. He and his father own the JeromeCerveza microbrewery. I toured his brewery--it's the size of a two car garage and his father built the bottling machine by copying a diagram from the DiscoveryChannel about the history of Sam Adams Brewing. Eduardo makes five beers from the blonde 5% lager "Sauve" to the rich 8% ale "Diablo". I was on my seventh pint in about ninety minutes when I discovered him and his board behind the barbeque grill. Late for our horseback ride but in a panic to throw my first darts in South America, not to mention a month, I grab all six of those green and yellow cheapies, estimate the oche and throw, getting about nine seconds of nostalgia...

    Don't forget the favors I asked for Phil!

    Over and double out.
  4. niles

    niles Member


    Judging by the photo with Eduardo, your six shots at the B/W board demonstrate either that Eduardo's beer is quite good, or that you have been away from competition for too long (or both). I call dibs on your first match when you set foot back on North American soil...

    N :wink:
  5. Thorn

    Thorn New Member

    First of all Niles, I accept your offer! Second, of those seven pints, the last three were Diablos--a far cry from $1 PBRs. Third, I literally had nine seconds to throw at that siezure-causing spiraling-symbol-of-the-Joker board that was neither the correct height nor had an oche among the schnitzel grease stains on the floor!

    But, have no fear--or maybe you should have fear, Niles--because I am still spreading the game. Behold! Three young squires of the Thorn: Francisco the Flailer, Marcel the Malicious, and Alejandro the Acute! Not only will they progress far beyond your mortal skills--thanks to my black magic training regimen--but they will keep my skills sharp whilst I wait for C Leaguers such as yourself to improve to a level worthy of my time...

  6. niles

    niles Member

    Hey Adam-

    Have you ever seen a Ton80 bust? It happened last Thursday in C League. Sam Kimpton was playing me in 501 singles and was down to 162. He stepped up to the oche and cooly tossed in two T20's. I was shocked when he didn't stop to consider his last shot (S10??) but instead kept on target. The last dart snuggled in between the first two for a clear 180 -- and bust.

    Just wondering if you had ever seen that before! Sam was happy with the achievement, even though it didn't "count"...

  7. Thorn

    Thorn New Member

    Well I haven't seen it before but I have gone for it and encouraged people to go for the Ton80 in the same situation--it's an achievement worth busting on especially for players that have never hit the big one--but only because he did not have an out. But, do me a favor, and tell Sam four things:

    1. On 42 with one dart, the smart move is the fat 6/10 wire, safely leaving good outs at 36 or, preferably, 32. It would have been a really good turn and a hi-score to boot.

    2. I'm pretty sure he just locked up a mention in my next quarterly season report. A Ton80 bust in league; that's awesome.

    3. Hello.

    4. It counts as a Ton80 in my mind.

    Now, I'll tell you a dark secret of mine....Someday, I hope to bust on 181!
  8. philk

    philk New Member

    Here's my general rule to follow:

    When looking at a 149 out, after hitting the trip-19, trip-20, do not, repeat, DO NOT hit a single 7.

    Now, if I could only follow my own "rules." My brilliant move was committed before a full audience during last Thursday's match against the mighty Murrains. And Yup! I lost the game. :oops: At least the first two darts looked great!!
  9. SWA2873

    SWA2873 New Member

    Yup. I did it,....although truth be told I was trying for a 20 on the last dart. I figured this would leave me with 22 for a D11 out the next round-a fairly easy shot I think.

    I guess subconsciously I was thinking too hard about the T20 bed and the last dart landed there.

    BTW this was my first 180, I threw my second one last night in a social game!

    Just the same,......I was more pleasedd with that bust then I ever have been in the past.

    I think it scared the bjeebers out of Niles though!

  10. SWA2873

    SWA2873 New Member

    BTW Adam,.......isnt a 42 finish the D21?????


  11. philk

    philk New Member

    That's what I thought...! At least that's my explanation for all my bounce-outs on the wire between double 20 and double 1... :lol:
  12. niles

    niles Member

    I for one believe your story about the dead-eye on the cheap board on the door! I would believe you anyways, but in general, who would go to such elaborate lengths to relate such a wild story if it weren’t true? However, can you really count a dead-eye if the first dart(s) are not their to block the later darts? Anyway, I am amazed that anyone can get those cheap-O darts to go anywhere near where they want them to, let alone three sweet shots in a row. Kudos!

    My real concern is: what twisted, sick, evil, heartless toy manufacturer --- anywhere in the world --- would make a board where the dead center is impenetrable?????.

    That's just wrong. :?

  13. Thorn

    Thorn New Member

    Well, I'm giving you the "I Wasn't Thorn Yesterday" award for pointing out all things obvious so well!

    As far as the manufacturer of that board goes, if there was any sign of their company's name, instead of just a rather overpopulated country of origin and a French/Spanish instruction sheet, I'd be complaining loud and clear...

    Seriously, I doubt 30gram darts could stick in that DB. Last night, I taught a friend to play cricket--we just played straight, no points--and we played by the "drop outs don't count" rule, and man, I hit the single bull like 15 times before my first one stuck! I thought it would never end. I think I might designate the T11 or T6 as the new alternative bullseye, or maybe put some paper over the bull so we can check it for the hole, or maybe...

    Over and double out
  14. philk

    philk New Member

    Well, it's time to wake up the retort thread...

    BTW Thorn, great interview with Adam. Much more interesting than a recent interview with Bill Gates - seriously! I wanted to let you know that even though you don't see too much feedback, there are more than a few of us out here keeping up with your reporting, and I think I can speak for all of us when I say, "thank you" for your ceaseless energy, interest, efforts, and fascinatingly humorous take on this amazing world of ours. And for simply staying in touch, mate.

    I have to say I just noticed (yes, just now, Monday June 11) that you had PM'd me 3 times. Sorry for not responding, but I'll try in the next several days ahead. I figured out that when I click on the PADA link to this forum, I scan for recent activity and read those posts, but the little "alert" that I have private messages is way down the page, so I have not noticed it before. Now at least I have a heads-up...

    The dog is my Baja mutt, Elizabeth, 2+ yrs old. She was a bit warm when the pic was taken... heh. I rescued her along with her littermate sister and two other pups in March 2005 when I was living at El Refugio near Pescadero, Baja California Sur (about 40 miles north of Cabo on the Pacific side of Baja.) On a dart community related note: Craig Boughton helped me get the pups back to the States at the time by sending me enough cash to ship them home by Alaska Air, for which I will always be grateful. (Thanks again, Craig!)

    The dog story didn't end with those four, and over the next two years I rescued two more, and Craig again was there for emergency fund loanage when I was stuck in Tucson with a 9 wk old Mexican puppy rescued from a lonely Sonoran highway truckstop. The last one was Charlie, a starving yellow lab my friend Trisha and I picked up just this March outside of Todos Santos, Baja.

    And old, abandoned blog which started out about the Portland area dart scene (Horse Brass centric) which evolved into a more personal journal about dog rescueing, Baja, relationships, etc might be interesting to you, as long as you stick to the archives, primarily Jan-June 2005.

    A more recent collection of pictures from my short trip recently where we found Charlie (and additional pics) can be found on my picasaweb site. (click on "Saving Charlie" for that gallery... self explanatory, I know... ;) )

    Also, Thorn... be sure to tell Adam (I won't blow your cover, man..) that I'm not a GarageBand expert, but I have used it a fair amount. If he's still interested, I'd be happy to talk about it with him via email at pdxflint@gmail - dot - com.

    Apologize for the long post... over and out.
  15. Thorn

    Thorn New Member

    Apologies shmologies PK! Not only are you one of four people to ever exhort the retort--if you include CraigB's sticky intro, that is (by the way thanks to niles and Sam too!)--but you're the most prolific roving retorter. Seriously, thanks for the kind words about others enjoying the threads too...wish they would say 'hi' some time. Just clicking the email button below would make my day!

    If you want to apologize, let's do it all those people we whooped at the Christmas Shoot last year! WE'RE SORRY!....NOT! Got your money! Hehe.

    (By the way, FYI, in spanish speaking countries the sound of laughing is spelled: jeje! Just a little something techo-cultural everyone should know.)

    I'm not sure how to get more people to respond. I've tried encouraging and complimenting them, begging, demanding, tricking people with questions and contests, insulting or chiding them. Nothing seems to work--I guess I only have three technologically literate friends in the PADA. (That's the 'guilt' method--awww, who am I kidding, it won't work either)

    Well, love the dog stories. Thanks for the inside scoop. Nice Story. You'd be in dog heaven down here--not only are they everywhere on the streets, but people love owning them too. In fact, lemme see here, I actually walked past dog heaven the other day and got a picture...check this out!


    I'm pretty sure you couldn;t participate in league this year but I'm keeping my eyes out for signs of you at some of the special events bro.

    And, thanks for the info the interview, drop me a line when the next one appears!

    Over and double out.
  16. philk

    philk New Member

    Nice pic, Adam. Now, it looks a bit like a menage-a-trois (sp?) but the shot is discrete enough to not violate the "anti-everything fun" police. :wink:

    I share your frustration at getting PADA folks to participate, but my best advice would be to just keep doing it. Keep blogging, and posting the Thorn Report. It does get read, and makes all of our lives a bit better, brother!

    I just wish we could have had some time to get to know each other in person, and toss a few pints when you were here, but you bring back those delicious memories of last year's Christmas shoot... jeje!

    I did make it to a Friday blind draw the week before last, and it was really fun. Fletch was running it in Dee's absence, and the mighty darts of Fletch knocked me out of the championship (which was won by Ian Griffiths over Fletch 2-1.) I did split with Fletch during the flight, and Ian Griffiths won the flight, I came in second, Fletch third, and I can't remember the young guy's name who came in fourth, but he knew you from Slabtown days. It was a good night of friendly, yet competitive darts. I'm going to try to make it more often, because that's where I get to meet folks I don't often play darts with, since I live on another planet out here on the coast.

    cheers, mate!! -phil
  17. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Just saw the post with all the set-up !

    Now how long did it take to put all that together? :wink:
  18. Thorn

    Thorn New Member

    How long? Who knows?! Time flies when you're having fun! I was hesitant to post it on the main forum--I feel so lucky to get the gear while our soldiers and youth players are hoping for the same generosity. I know the SEWA community will come through for them too.

    By chance, between my post and yours, I was chatting with Alejandro, the 14 year old son of a friend who has really taken to the game. I emailed him the picture. He was amazed and now he's totally excited to try out the real thing--he'll be telling his brother and all their friends to come this Saturday. He's good too, a natural--you can see him in some of my earlier pictures and posts.

    It's all because of you, Anne. Thank you again.

    You so totally ROCK!!!

    Over and double out.
  19. niles

    niles Member

    Way to go O-thorn-O!!!
  20. Thorn

    Thorn New Member

    Well, I'm trying to push the game into the local scene. Thanks to the supply donations...

    1) I've got an open dart mixer/shoot scheduled for Saturday night! Having know idea how many will show, if many, or their talent level and interest, I'm going to play it by ear as far as fees and formats go. Maybe keep it more relaxed or...maybe have an impromptu blind draw. My plan is to hold this steel-tipped get-together every other week, mostly for its social aspects but also to build interest, get people playing, and let them use all the improved equipment I've been blessed with. But for now, another shoot on saturday!

    2) My friend told me about a pool bar, and he spoke with owner about darts. Next day I went back with an entire kit (board, backboard, chalk, darts, parts, tape measure and nails) and hooked him up for free. Then I proceeded to play and teach people the game, but one guy showed up that whooped me first try! But, I returned the favor...I'll go there every other night or two, and try to keep spreading the love. It's in a perfect place in the bar: wood moldings, green walls, lights, upstairs from the pool tables. So, I guess I've helped start the first dart pub!

    I'll get pictures and post what we see happen...over and double out.

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